i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
