haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
