ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
