hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
