there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I AM VODKA MAN
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
