I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
