sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize