When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
