Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
