Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
