And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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