i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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