I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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