Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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