I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
