it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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