Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
