i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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