I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
