Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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