and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
