Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
