One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
