dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
