PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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