I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
