I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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