If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
