I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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