I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
