Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize