i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
