i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
