i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
