i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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