White coat. Heels.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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