Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
