He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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