U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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