Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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