No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
