Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
