Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
