I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
