We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
