I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I could fuck to npr.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
