I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
