ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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