I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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