Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
