hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
