This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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