So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
