What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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