oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
either way he was missing a nipple.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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