Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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