It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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