Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
