When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
