hell yes lets make some ravioli
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
