i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
