eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
