So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
