Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
