she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
