you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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