my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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