Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
