He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
